Testimony 2

The internal dam I built over the years to suppress my tears had been destroyed. This encompassing heat, this touching warmth had infused into the veins of my heart, the roots of my soul, the depth of my spirit. Bishop prayed over the retreatants while walking around with the blessed sacrament. I didn’t expect myself to react so dramatically to this divine companionship. Indeed, I lost track of how long I had been away from church. Thanks to my friend, Thaddeus, who recommended this retreat and encouraged me to attend. Standing in the first few rows, I was so looking forward to being rested in the Spirit; it was a sign of coming home finally. The bishop uttered less than three words and I fell.

The surrounding seemed serene, and it was nice to be lying down with the choir beside me; the music was beautiful. Before I managed to further enjoy the singing, my left foot started to twitch outward on its own. I felt strange and thought my muscle cramped. I was still rationalising when my left shoulder quaked and soon my whole body rocked uncontrollably. I think I looked like I had been electrocuted, except I didn’t have any electrical current flowing in me. After about one minute of involuntary exercise of my muscles, I panicked. After all, this was my first jerking slain experience. The first thing came to my mind: if this spasmodic movement originated from the Holy Spirit, I could control my body. Yes, I stopped without any struggle, but no, I couldn’t return to vibrating mode and I didn’t ask the bishop to send me shaking again. So, the retreat ended and secular life returned to normal.

A few days after the retreat, I was surfing the internet on my laptop when I realised something was missing. Something was not right, I paused my activity and mulled over it. I took about five minutes to become aware of the situation; I had just climbed out of a pitch black well. For the past few days, I didn’t visit pornography sites, that distasteful habit had disappeared. It was astonishing that all these years of urge had been delivered from me. How could this be possible? From this moment on, I knew that God exists and my homecoming journey continued. I didn’t watch anymore pornography.